Tightening the reins

Well the last few weeks I have definitely loosened my grip on those proverbial reins. I have allowed myself to indulge in foods the old Sarah would’ve destroyed........why? Did I give into cravings? Not always, sometimes there was a craving, other times I ate just because the food was there. Did it make me feel good? No. I said to hubby just last night that I have noticed on the days where I don’t exercise or on the days I eat crap food, I find I get myself into a funk, I don’t start these days feeling low but by the end of the day I am in a crappy mood and that’s the only thing I can think of that might be causing it. I don’t have the feelings of oh why didn’t I exercise today nor do I find myself ridden with guilt for eating the wrong foods but yesterday I made the connection that the days where I am feeling slightly depressed are the same days I have found myself making bad choices.

I have made the decision to sit out round 3 of 12WBT but if I keep following this pattern of self destructive behaviour I might just have to sign up before they close registrations. I really would like to prove to myself that I CAN do this by myself, that I HAVE learnt enough lessons to get me through life and be able to maintain my healthy outlook on exercise, food & life. When it is a work day and I am following my routine I am fine but the wheels seem to fall off on the weekends. This is where I really need to make more of an effort. I need to develop some sort of routine to follow for Saturday’s and Sunday’s. My gym does not open until 8 but I generally want to be out at 7. Maybe what I need to do is hit the pavement? Just get out of the house and take the dog for a run rather than wait for the gym to open. By the time I have lounged around with hubby and the girls, had my breakfast and coffee I don’t want to go anywhere. Maybe on the weekend what I need to do is get out of bed, chuck on my runners, get out the front door and just GO!

Maybe this is can help explain some things

 

The round 2 finale party is just a few weeks away and if I keep following this self sabotaging trail of destruction then I will not fit into the dress I have bought for the occasion. So the plan for this week? Follow the plan! Stick to what I know best, keep planning my meals, keep following my routine, and keep going to the gym, even when I don’t want to. Shift the 1-2kgs I have allowed to creep back on and follow it up with the next 2kgs to get to my 75kg goal. I CAN do this and I WILL do this. I have got an amazing support network around me, I need to use them when I have moments of weakness, I know those BIS girls of mine will certainly bring me back down to earth with a thud if I start getting carried away, I just need to make sure I open myself up when I am struggling – ASK FOR HELP – I will get it. No one will know I need help if I fail to ask for it. OK, let’s do this!