For those that don’t already know; I am a serial weigher. Yep I like to weigh in pretty much every day, and some nights too. I find it fascinating to see how and when the choices I have made that day or in previous days show up on the scales. I know that my weight loss slows when I am exercising frequently at the gym, but I also know that my centimetres drop when I am doing this. I know that when I am eating clean but not exercising as much the numbers on the scales will drop again but I am maybe not so lean and strong where other measurements are concerned. From my daily weigh in this morning I have discovered I am 1 kilo away from many goals I have set for myself, it is a very exciting time, once this 1 kilo is shifted what will this mean for me????
1. I will have broken into another ‘decade’ I will be back in the 70’s
2. I will have lost a total of 20kgs
3. I will be back to the weight I was when I got married
4. I will be the lightest I can ever remember being in my adult life
So what happens once I crack this next kilo? I am entering into uncharted territory. Can I get past that number? How much further will I need to go before I am happy? At the moment I have a guestimated goal weight as I have absolutely no idea what my body looks like or what my body can do once I crack my ‘wedding weight’. I no longer look at myself and think OMG I need to do something about this I am fat, my clothes are too tight. I now look at myself and think I need to tighten or tone this area a bit more but I don’t think of myself as being overweight anymore. I am happy with my reflection now when it is in clothes but when it is out of clothes I can see where work still needs to be done.
The answer to what’s next? I don’t know, I am a work in progress, will I ever be fully satisfied with what I see? Will any of us? What I do know is that I have come a long way in 3 months. I have already created a more positive me for my little girls to look up to. They know mummy does her exercises most days, they know where mummy’s gym is, I’m sure they can see mummy is happier, I have more energy now to play with them, I am more conscious of what we are feeding them and I hope this is creating healthy habits for them as they grow. I also think I am more like the girl my husband married, I am not so miserable because I am depressed about the way I look, I have got some of my spark back, I have more confidence to wear nice clothes and strut my stuff for him. I might bore him with stories about some fabulous new food I have found or some new exercise I am doing at the gym but I would much prefer to be boring him with tales of good food and exercise than bore him by sitting like a slob on the couch too miserable to actually live life properly
I am really enjoying our new life and I hope that my family are too. I cannot wait for winter to be gone so that when the sun starts shining again we can spend our weekends outdoors running around at the park, cycling down the river & heading out on adventures