Wednesday, 14 August 2013

This is Life

Long time no blog.... I have been battling the last few weeks. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, my eating and exercise patterns have been erratic and some days out of control and I have been working on getting my balance back so the little ole blog has fallen by the wayside. Be warned, this is a long catch up.

Why the rollercoaster? Good question! I don’t know. I am struggling to find a new job as there is really nothing in the job market right now but I am not completely miserable at work so I don’t think that is the cause of my mindset. I battled with PND and a few months ago came off all of my medication, I had been doing really well until I decided to go back on the pill. I believe going back on the pill has been the reason behind my struggles these last few weeks. I have had so many days where I just couldn’t be bothered so what did I do?? Nothing! I sat on the couch and ate. One day I didn’t even have dinner as hubby wasn’t home so I sat on the couch and ate chips and chocolate instead then felt sick then got a junk food headache. Did that make me feel better? HELL NO! What my poor husband has had to put up with from me the last few weeks is ridiculous, I went back to how I was in my ‘dark’ days, I was really a shell, and I just went through the motions not really caring. Once I connected that my moods had changed since starting the pill it was a very easy decision to take myself off it. I haven’t even been off it a week and I already feel a million times better. I almost have my old self back. There was a positive to come out of this though, I started this blog as I am useless at opening up and talking, through this recent depression I have actually had nights where I have sat on the couch and told hubby everything I was feeling and what was going through my head and he is so brilliant at helping me talk through everything I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner :)

So end of round 2, success? Weight wise I think I lost 3kg, finishing at about 78kg, so not my best effort but with all the down days I had where I ate shit and didn’t exercise I think it’s not a bad end result. At one stage through the round I was down to my lowest weight ever 76.6kg but I undid a lot of that work by the end of the round, this morning I am already back at 77kg so I’m well on my way to kicking my mojo back into gear and getting up and going again.
Finale – Well what a way to get back into my groove. A weekend away with no children, just hubby and I, plus a few very special members of the 12WBT family. Hubby and I decided to make the most of flying in on Friday morning and hired a car to spend the day cruising around the Barossa, had the best day visiting Maggie Beers Farm Shop for lunch then to 2 of our favourite wines cellar doors for a taste and a sneaky purchase of a few bottles finished off with a beautiful afternoon tea looking over the Barossa vines at Artisans of Barossa. It was so nice to just have a chilled out day reconnecting with hubby, been a long time since we were able to just take some time to ourselves. We finished Friday with Thai takeaway in our hotel room. Saturday, up and at em, dropped the car off and walked the 3.5km to group workout stopping for a piece of toast and coffee along the way. Once at workout we hung out with some of my favourite 12WBT people waiting for it to start, we were treated with Michelle sauntering straight past where we were sitting to make her way to the stage then it began – I am so proud with my efforts, I made it through the entire workout, people that have been to 5+ finale workouts said this was the hardest they had done by far and I MADE IT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING – I burned 565 cals through the session, so not only did I do the whole thing but I clocked my highest calorie burn in an hour too :) So after workout it was off to the pub for a liquid lunch where I got to catch up properly with one of my favourite people, the lovely Jules xx Greg & Ben got on like a house on fire which made lunch even more enjoyable with the friendly banter being thrown around. Taxi back to the hotel from lunch, shower and off to pick up Jules for hair and makeup. Frocked up and Made up we headed off to see if Adelaide knew how to throw a party, yes they did :) We had the BEST night, jumped straight into the photo booths to save the huge queues later in the night, managed to get our hands on plenty of tasty food, plenty of refills to our wine glasses, got our portraits drawn by the resident caricature, we’re still not really sure who he drew in our pictures but it was a fun experience, we enjoyed a show by some very flexible strong men/acrobats/circus boys not really sure what to call them & of course got to see the top 10 most inspirational 12WBTers. It was really lovely being able to hear all of their stories, I much preferred the way they did things with these presentations than the way they did them in Melbourne. Sunday we weren’t feeling too bad so with some time to kill we had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel then jumped on a tram to Glenelg where we got to wander for about half hour in the beautiful sunshine before tramming back to hotel to pick up our bags and head home.

I had an amazing weekend and feel so much closer to hubby now, I think we really do forget to take time to ourselves when we have children, we rush about from day to day between work, appointments and day to day stuff that just gets in the way. We do things as a family on the weekend which is lovely and manage the odd dinner here and there but this weekend away for me was a big eye opener that we really do need to make the time to do things together as a couple and spend some time just being ‘us’.

So now I’m home and back to reality. I decided a few weeks ago that I was not going to sign up for round 3, although I have really enjoyed my 2 rounds I feel I need to see if I can maintain this lifestyle by myself to make sure I really have learnt the lessons I needed to learn. I still have an amazing support network around me to support me through it. When the round kicked off and my friends were all excited about staring the new round I did wonder if I had made the wrong decision and thought about quickly jumping on board before the closed the round, but a chat with hubby reminded me that I was going to stop 12WBT at some stage, it was never going to be forever so why not sit this round out and see how I go, there is always round 4 if I find I’m struggling. I agreed but if I am going to do this alone I still need a goal. In November Cotton on Foundation organise a fun run to benefit Geelong hospital children’s ward, last year I entered and managed to run about 500metres of the 6km course, my challenge for this year’s run in November is to run the entire 12km course, a big call from someone who has always claimed to not be able to run. I have slowly started improving my running capabilities in the gym on the treadmill but road running is very different to treadmill running so Tuesday morning (not feeling 100%) I decided to skip my gym session head to the river and run. On my first ever ‘proper’ run I managed 4.75km nonstop in 33mins. I would’ve kept going too but I was back at the car. I am so happy with this start and I can see from this I would easily be able to run the 6km course so with 3 months to train I have my sights on 12km. Hubby has committed to doing it with me so when he is home at the end of this week from his week on the road we will work out a training plan and set our sights on smashing our new goal.

I will be celebrating with my friends in Sydney at the round 3 finale as I still feel a part of the 12WBT family, this time though I don’t have a magic number that I am chasing for my weight, instead my magic number will be a distance to be reached the week following finale. Good luck to all my friends smashing out round 3, looking forward to helping you celebrating your successes in November xx

Please excuse my sideways photos - for some reason they just refuse to rotate for me :( 
Lunch at Maggie Beers

Original grape press at Henschke

Afternoon tea at Artisans of Barossa

The lovely Jules at our liquid lunch

Ben and i frocked up and ready to party

The girl that i adore, Jules xx

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