Excuses, procrastination & being able to ask for help

I knew I had taken my foot off the accelerator recently and since my illness I have not got back into the swing of things properly, since the dizziness disappeared I have smashed my 1^st 10km event followed by my 1^st 12km event but there has been zero consistency with my training. What once was firmly ingrained into my daily routine is now nowhere to be seen, so last night when hubby started a conversation with……you know I love you….I knew I was in trouble. I immediately knew the conversation to follow was going to be geared towards my relaxed nutrition and training of late but the words that my husband said to me that are still ringing in my ears were ‘it’s like you have given up’ this was followed with words of encouragement of him not wanting to see me throw all my hard work away and going back to living a sedentary life, stuffing my face with crap food, 23kg heavier & miserable. What he wanted me to understand was that he saw how happy I was when training & eating well and how he did not want me to throw all of that away just because life was hectic. I admitted that I had decided it was just all too hard this month and I was just going to pick it all back up in the new year. My hours at work are all over the place at the moment while we get through a phase of short staff and excess guests, new staff are starting and coincidentally a fully trained new staff will be on board, up and running in time for me to get back into routine in the new year. The thing is,  I have a problem letting go of control and I just want to be able to do it all – work full time, pick my girls up from daycare and get them home, fed, bathed & put them to bed, organize dinner for hubby and I, while all at the same time trying to fit in an exercise routine, being able to do the latter meant I would have to ask for help, hubby would need to take over little girl duties and I feel like I am lacking as a mother & being selfish taking time for myself while he is home fighting to get 2 little people to eat their dinner and wash their hair

         

Hubby told me in no uncertain terms that from now on, no more excuses, if he is home from work in time, he will get the girls from daycare, I am to go directly from work to gym, do not pass go, do not collect $200, on weekends I am to give up an hour of family time (sitting around having a leisurely breakfast, watching the girls play, not really doing much with my time) and go to the gym or go for a run – no excuses! What could I do? I packed my gym bag ready to pick up on my way out of the house this morning so I could hit the gym on my way home, this morning I left the gym bag at the front door! Good start, ah well I will finish up at work, head home, get changed and head straight back out the door to hit the gym. There will be days in the lead up to Christmas that I just cannot get to the gym & that’s OK but the conversation I had last night makes me realize that just because you know you are going to have a few bad days does not mean you give up for a whole month. I can keep my nutrition on track still except for the Christmas events over which I have no say in the catering, I can exercise every day that the schedule allows and to do all of this I CAN ask for help!